8OIMBHBRXZEG8ZPO – An Update

Another genius has been employed by the government, probably on a renewable contract which has no non-renewal clause. Readers (if any) will remember my rant about attempts to pay my taxes to our national tax collectors, who shall remain nameless, but which you’ll remember from the 8OIMBHBRXZEG8ZPO message fiasco are staffed by a collection of … Continue reading “8OIMBHBRXZEG8ZPO – An Update”

Another genius has been employed by the government, probably on a renewable contract which has no non-renewal clause.

Readers (if any) will remember my rant about attempts to pay my taxes to our national tax collectors, who shall remain nameless, but which you’ll remember from the 8OIMBHBRXZEG8ZPO message fiasco are staffed by a collection of geniuses which I previously described as ‘webmasters’. They’re getting better. Today, I set off on my annual wading-through-treacle expedition to use their latest masterfully-contrived tangled-mess to file my corporation tax return. Small company stuff, you know the sort that small businessmen all over the world have to contend with, but seemingly more so here for three reasons.

1. We have the most complex tax code possible, with every single tax break matched to by at least ten pages of reasons why you can’t use it to save tax;
2. There are no actual tax experts available on the phone, only help desk staff who inist they can’t offer an answer to any questions about tax, so you’ll need to ask an accountant;
3. There is a huge IT department staffed by incompetents whose sole purpose is to extend its own contract into the middle distance by ensuring it is constantly fixing stuff that it recently screwed up. I know how this works.

Despite this, I’ve managed to file my taxes and accounts with reasonably low levels of stress for quite a few years. Until today.

Today I gathered my enthusiam for filing my taxes to help the country save up for some jets for our two no-aircraft carriers and am confronted on website A with: “You can’t use this service to file your taxes because we’ve given you a shiny new service you can use which is much more efficient. You can find this at Website B.”

Fair enough, so I navigated my way across to Website B, site of the shiny new system. And it won’t take the imagination of a Greek Muse to guess what’s coming next. Here goes:

“You can’t file your taxes here. You’ll need to send them in on paper, or better still, phone us.”

Thanks chaps. Nice work. Do you need a volunteer to fill out your annual performance appraisals?

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