Now that much of the population is in enforced ‘furlough’ many of us are turning to making ourselves useful by entertaining our friends, neighbours and an international audience of social media pals by producing some amazing songs, articles and memes, many of which are really quite funny. Most of us like a bit of a laugh when it brightens up our day, and most of us want to show our support for the huge devotion of our NHS staff, the army of volunteers looking after the vulnerable and the inevitable economic victims of this crisis. Society will come out of this a better club to be a member of, and we’ll all be able to look back and say we did our bit. Well, most of us.
I’ve written before about the trashing of our education system during the years of incompetent government, and I can see signs that the policy of producing idiots at the taxpayers expense did indeed pay off. Squads of impressionable dimwits are somehow managing to organise themselves into lockdown-eluding raiding parties and setting fire to elements of our national infrastructure which the rest of us almost totally rely upon. If you think you don’t, then you probably didn’t spend an average of (give or take) five hours a day on your smartphone, so you won’t be at all bothered by this.
I’ve managed to make contact with one of these idiots by semaphore from the roof of my house. He replied in a fiasco of badly spelled flagwaving that the national 5G network is beaming deadly virus particles at him and that in protest he will henceforth not be using electronic means of communication. He wanted to say more, but we ran out of time and visibility as the sun set behind his gesticulations, and my binoculars misted up. I’m now awaiting the pigeon carrying the remainder of his explanation of how it’s possible to be both smart enough to learn morse code and stupid enough to believe that Vodafone are able to broadcast nano-sized particles of deadly diseases. Presumably I’ll be able to get them via broadband when the beta testing is over.