Zero hours is the same as Zero money

I’m self employed. It might appear to a great many people that I’m a ‘fat cat’ because officially I’m a company director and I have an employee (me) but the fact of the matter is that I’m no different from countless thousands of others in this country who make their living on their wits, ability … Continue reading “Zero hours is the same as Zero money”

I’m self employed. It might appear to a great many people that I’m a ‘fat cat’ because officially I’m a company director and I have an employee (me) but the fact of the matter is that I’m no different from countless thousands of others in this country who make their living on their wits, ability and the goodwill of those who hire us.

If nobody hires me to do a job, I don’t get paid.  Therefore, I am on a zero hours contract. Your local window cleaner is in a similar situation, as is the bloke who fixed my roof last time it leaked.

I’m pleased that the Millibrain has declared that my arrangement with myself is to be made illegal. I will have no more sleepless nights, since I’ll be confident that the welfare state will reward my future fecklessness simultaneously with suitable benefits for me  and appropriate sanctions against me.

Please recall my earlier comments about not voting for this idiot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Tree Man

The tree officer from the council came this morning, and a leading local cabinet member, to attend a debate in my front garden about the wilful destruction of the trees in my street by council contractors a few years ago. Both very nice chaps, and in no way responsible for the topping of the mature … Continue reading “The Tree Man”

The tree officer from the council came this morning, and a leading local cabinet member, to attend a debate in my front garden about the wilful destruction of the trees in my street by council contractors a few years ago. Both very nice chaps, and in no way responsible for the topping of the mature beech trees which characterised this quiet corner of our town which happened in a previous administration.  I’m still angry, as are others, about the destruction of these trees four years after the event, which took place, in my opinion, because a fellow resident of our street didn’t like leaves falling in his garden and incidentally was friendly with a local councillor. If you see a van full of ‘tree surgeons’ with ‘Agent Orange Tree Destruction Services’ stencilled on the side, it’s probably the same idiots who removed the nesting habitats of a good number of local birds and a great many beetles, whilst gleefully destroying the amenity of my street with their chainsaws in the process.

Maybe there’ll be some action to replace the trees, but even if this is tomorrow, it will be 50 years before the street is back to where it was before the deforestation took place, and I’ll probably be dead. Although I might still be around if I get a share of the £8 Billion extra that the magicians are promising for the NHS.

 

8OIMBHBRXZEG8ZPO

I’m attempting to pay my taxes. I love paying taxes. I only pay taxes when I earn money, so the more I pay the more I must have earned.  I like to pay them early to get them done. The HMRC web site is probably the best example of how the government are seemingly determined … Continue reading “8OIMBHBRXZEG8ZPO”

I’m attempting to pay my taxes. I love paying taxes. I only pay taxes when I earn money, so the more I pay the more I must have earned.  I like to pay them early to get them done.

The HMRC web site is probably the best example of how the government are seemingly determined to make public services as inaccessible as possible. Frankly, it’s a disgrace that this ever got through a basic idea review, never mind a Critical Design Review in the ‘consulting’ firm that designed this online fiasco.

I’m trying to download my annual CT600 form so that I can file my corporation tax return. Now, I’m assuming that the ‘webmasters’ at this site (I use the terms in their truest sense – ‘web’ to mean a tangled mess and ‘masters’ to mean experts at creating it) know that it doesn’t really work, but despite this I must log in, go through a dozen screens of information, selections and button clicking, only to be presented with this a message containing my personalised error code:

8OIMBHBRXZEG8ZPO

which I must report to them using the link available to contact HMRC which takes me to anywhere except a form to report the error.  Well done chaps – keep billing the hours to a civil servant somewhere in HMRC who believes in fairies.

 

 

Das Blau vom Himmel Versprechen

Last night we went to the pub for our monthly ‘Stammtisch’ – an evening of good company and German language practice with expats, of whom my wife is one.  The conversation inevitably came around to the subject of the forthcoming election, which appears to be a pissing contest between the far right and the not-quite-so-far … Continue reading “Das Blau vom Himmel Versprechen”

Last night we went to the pub for our monthly ‘Stammtisch’ – an evening of good company and German language practice with expats, of whom my wife is one.  The conversation inevitably came around to the subject of the forthcoming election, which appears to be a pissing contest between the far right and the not-quite-so-far right about who can magic the most money (measured in the new currency of election promises, the billion).  I really like this phrase used in Germany to describe perfectly what’s going on (and I may not have got this exactly right, since my German isn’t that good):  Das Blau vom Himmel Versprechen, meaning they promise the very blue from the sky! Which sums up the current campaigning perfectly.

Incidentally, just so you know where I stand here, I certainly won’t be voting for the Millibrain, who simply can’t add up and yet who wants to run a country. Ludicrous. Unfortunately, since the previous Labour government organised the destruction of our education system, nobody else can add up either which can only result in one outcome in this election.

 

I’m Steve – welcome to my blog

I’ve decided to start a blog, though I’m not sure I’ll stick with it for more than a few entries. I have a vision of a hugely interesting catalogue of my comings and goings which will thrill and captivate a global audience and thereby make some small contribution to the informationsphere which already consumes hours … Continue reading “I’m Steve – welcome to my blog”

I’ve decided to start a blog, though I’m not sure I’ll stick with it for more than a few entries. I have a vision of a hugely interesting catalogue of my comings and goings which will thrill and captivate a global audience and thereby make some small contribution to the informationsphere which already consumes hours of you-tube videos every second. I’ll be steering clear of those, in the main, unless I have something remarkable to show you. I did, in fact, make one, once, and I might introduce you later.

Anyway, my name’s Steve, almost-semi-retired-but-frightened-to-commit and almost miserable, but not quite, kept afloat by a passion for attempts to do things I can’t really do, such as playing my guitar, and by the fact that I haven’t yet concluded the marathon starring Walt and Jesse which, after all, has only 65 episodes. Only 7 to go, though.  And then there’s Better Call Saul. Anyway, thank god for Netflix.

On this, my first visit to my new blog’s editor, my wife, who shall at this point remain nameless lest I get a letter from the information commissioner’s office, is collecting in the washing from the line outside after a beautiful day here on the south coast. In fact, it was almost 25 degrees here, so I can safely say that summer is almost over barely a fortnight after the clocks sprung forward to announce that the grass is riz. Which it is. I’m looking out of the front room window over six inches of the stuff so the mower will be featuring in a blog entry within a few days.

So… Hello World!